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This class was the class we get feedback from Mr Paterson about our essays. We were lucky that we were the first group to get feedback. This was an important thing because we have more time than other groups to improve our essays. There were lots of things Mr Paterson noticed in my paragraphs which I need to improve.  The first thing I need to improve is that I am using too many of "this" in one of my paragraphs. We weren't able to check each other's paragraphs so I was not able to notice it. Something else that has to change is that I used the word "did not" instead of "didn't". This mistake occurred because we didn't check each other's paragraph which we should have done. In the feedback, it was not mentioned but there are some things I need to improve which was not told. For example, the AWL words are too low, not having enough money and so on. I don't know why he didn't mention about this but this is what I actually need ...

This class was the last day to work on our essays. We were able to have the whole class and the time until the next day morning. We mostly work individually because we had to work on our AWL which I haven't really reached yet. We also haven't finished with our reference so we had to do it the way Mr Paterson taught in this lesson which is the MLA format. We were working hard until the end of the class and the rest of the day but I thought we need to improve more. However, I am not clearly sure where we need to improve so I want to hear the feedback from Mr Paterson so that our group know what to improve because right now especially me, I am having trouble to find where our group need to improve. Next class is the day we get our feedback. Personally, I want to get my feedback as soon as possible because the things we have to improve is clear and we can improve it when other teams are getting feedback. However, if we get feedback later, we still don't know so we can't...

In this class, we were able to work on our essay which is due in the next class. We were done with most of the part and the only left was improving each part of the essay. We still had things we had to improve by checking each other's paragraph and the introduction and conclusion. Some of the things I need to improve in my paragraph is the amount of the sentence I have in each paragraph, the AWL and the readability. For the amount of the sentence, I am not reaching the minimum amount of the sentence which is 8 sentences. So I tried to add more sentences by adding more information. For the AWL's and the readability, I tried to increase the percentage of the AWL, but I couldn't really reach the amount of what we should have. The next class is our due date of the essay so we will have to work on more after school to finish off with improving the essay and also check each other's paragraph to make sure there aren't any things I did wrong or the other group member ...

In this class, we looked through other groups website page and see if there are any part they had to change. Some of the things that were mentioned are also something we have to change in our websites. For example, about the pictures and about the bio statement. About the pictures, the other team was mentioned that two of the pictures are good because the background is both blurry. However, one of them was not so when Mr Paterson mentioned that, I thought we had to check that as well. When we were checking in, I thought the place the picture was taken is different so it doesn't look good when we put it on one page. There was another big problem with the picture which is that I don't really like photos so I am not putting my picture on our websites. For the bio statement, I thought we need to write things that describe us well which connects with the presentation we did. In this class, I wasn't able to find things that connect with me and the presentation. I would like to ...